This article was written in response to a question I was asked by a new friend: where I find the courage to build a business on my own, 8,000 kilometers away from home, and how exactly I do it. It was originally published on my Medium channel.
Where I come from, you don’t become someone unless you belong to someone. Unless you’re someone’s somebody, you know what I mean.
I was never anyone’s. I came from a poor, simple family. Fifteen years ago, I started building a blog from scratch about endometriosis, an illness that was mostly unknown at the time. It felt hopeless, but I had such deep dedication and a clear vision that it kept me steady in the fog. And I made it.
Fourteen books later, people know and love me for the deeply human, yet always honest and credible content I create. I built an exceptionally successful private practice as a clinical health psychologist.
Through my blog, 14 books, newsletters, and words and knowledge, I have brought real, measurable change to people’s lives. That’s what I’m most proud of. And this is what I want to do again, but on an even bigger, louder scale with a broader impact. This time, I am starting where it truly begins: the education of healthcare professionals who treat people, guide them back to health, or help manage chronic conditions. Helpers need support so they can enjoy their profession again. Healthcare needs to be transformed radically, and we already have all the tools to make it happen. As the world’s first PhD(c) in medical foresight, my job is now to raise awareness of this topic and show the way, showing how to step into it.
I’ve always been a bridge. That’s what a health psychologist is trained to be, someone who speaks both the language of doctors and the language of patients, someone who can translate between logic and emotion, facts and fears. But for me, it goes deeper than training. I’m grateful, because it seems I have a natural talent for attuning to people, for sensing what needs to be said, and how. I truly believe it’s more than empathy; I prefer to think about it as precision, guided by purpose.
Of course, talent and training alone aren’t enough. What truly sets me apart is the kind of determination that doesn’t flinch, not even when I’m tired, not when I don’t feel good, not when I’m heartbroken, and not when it seems no one is watching. Never. I keep walking. I carry the message through, even when the path is unclear, even when no one else sees it yet.
That’s the energy I bring to every project. I want clarity, I seek connection, and I have the courage to keep going, because my curiosity is bigger than all the anxiety I manage. (It means I’m f@cking curious, FYI)
The truth is, and you may not like it, because it looks like this is the most important here, but I’ll say it anyway: I don’t give a f@ck about conversion.
When I write, I have two guiding questions in my mind. Even now, as I’m writing these lines to you, I have them like a gentle whisper into my ear.
The first: Do you have fun? (while creating, and just after)
Because if the writing doesn’t light something up in me, how can I expect it to light anything up in others?
Second: I’m thinking about the person who reads my words. Could their lives change, even just a tiny little bit, for the better, because of what I wrote? If the answer to both is yes, I know I’ve done my job.
And one more thing. I have to truly love the people I write to. Otherwise, it won’t work, the connection is impossible, and without a connection, as I mentioned before, it’s useless. Every time I sit down to write, I spend some minutes imagining, visualizing my readers, random people, every race, every age, gender, and I make myself love them. I hype it up so much in myself that it nearly hurts. Loving them can be harder on those days when somebody betrayed me, when somebody shouted my head off in the traffic, or they cut in line in front of me.
That’s why people who choose self-care tend to outperform those who think they have to hustle so much that they don’t have time to enjoy a nice dinner, take a 20-minute sauna break, or go for a walk. You can only love from a point where you are stable and happy enough to perform the act of love. Love is a decision; the feeling comes after.
IF I’m not able to love, again, you may not like it, but I would postpone the project- it wouldn’t be that successful anyway, because I don’t know how, but people sense the energy through the words, even if it’s written, and even if we are not in the same place physically.
So this is my recipe to build a successful business from scratch:
Love what you do, love to talk and write about it, love the people who you serve, and if you are at a point in your life where it’s hard to love them, love yourself more, so it’s easier to love them. Seek a genuine connection, only keep that in mind, and conversion will follow. You won’t experience burnout ever again, because you do what you love to do, and don’t have to think about all the marketing b@llshit you were taught before.
Do not seek conversion; look for a real, honest, deep connection with your audience.
When I reach their soul, when they understand that I feel them, I know them, I see them, I hear them, that I AM them, the conversion takes care of itself. No tricks, no manipulation, no clever hacks needed.
And this, this is what AI can’t do. (At least not yet, not for now.)
That’s why suddenly all the “copywriters” sound the same.
You hear it in every sentence, with three examples: two with commas, and the third with a period.
You hear it in every “it’s not this, it’s that” formula. You get that, right?
There’s one thing I can promise: my posts will never sound like that, because I’m the one who gets to dream them. Because every time I sit down to write, I make sure my intention is clear, and my hands, my words and my thoughts are guided by love.
I want to be completely honest with you. If you ask whether I’m nervous about starting my new company, I would say yes. Unfortunately, I can be anxious about almost anything. It doesn’t have to be truly scary; I’ll find a way to make it seem that way. That’s actually frightening—showing up, taking responsibility, following a legal system I didn’t know much about before, seeking good mentors, finding the right people, and putting myself out there with my Hungarian-French accent. Well, that worries me to death. Things involving paperwork, filling out forms, and invoices, yes, they FREAK ME OUT. But my commitment is so deep that I move forward with trembling hands and a pounding heart because my soul said ‘go,’ even when everything else screamed ‘no,’ and I just don’t let my fear drown out my faith.
Every time I catch myself procrastinating due to fear or rationalizing my own excuses that I can do it later, I ask myself: (Yes, I know, I talk to myself a lot, it’s what people with anxiety do.)
Do you really want to do this?
Do you believe in your message?
Do you REALLY want to make the impact you’re dreaming about?
And again, if my answer is yes, I tell myself: if you want to go there, girl, this is the way. It’s not easy. In your vivid imagination, it probably seems much harder than it actually is. But it’s still tough.
And if you truly want what you say you want, girl, it’s there. You have to go that way.
It’s enough to take one step today, but this is the direction. This is the way.
I make sure I understand this, so I take one step. Since the world usually doesn’t fall apart after that first step, I take a second one. I wait to see if I’ve started a fire; if not, I take a third step. After each step, I survive, so I wait less and less before taking the next one.
This is how I build a business from scratch. Well, maybe it’s not exactly the recipe you were looking for. But try it, though. It f@cking works.
Please help me in my mission to create a better healthcare system, where both doctors and patients feel heard and valued. Often, my work starts with a cup of coffee. 🙂
